Crazy Stories / Things I've Seen

Things I've Seen / Crazy Stories

Cashed Out, Crashed Out or Tapped Out - when it comes to Vegas, I've pretty much seen it all. 

Anytime

• Countless Brides

• Women drinking wine straight from the bottle in casino parking garages

• Countless "Almost" wins on slots machines

• Countless "Near Handpays" on slot machines (1 orb shy of collecting all 15, etc.)

• Dogs in Casinos 

• Guy walking around the casino floor at the Venetian with a Blow-Up Doll

• Multiple forgotten phones accidentally left on Slot Machines (that were left untouched!) - including brother-in-law's in 4 Queens that had a feather from his pet bird that passed inside the case

• Celebrities (Billy Gibbons, Mark Wahlberg, Bobby Flay)

• Streets empty during Covid

• Bounced dice off all kinds of places in craps - off dealer's forehead, off the stick, both dice off the table, down someone's shirt, etc.

• Multiple arrests on the street b/t 4 Queens and Golden Nugget

• People Double-Fisting Slot Machines b/c they can't get rid of their money fast enough

• People so drunk security had to escort them off the property

• Samoan guy nicknamed me "Hamo" playing craps at the Cal - "Let's go Hamo!""

• 12' long selfie sticks

• People sleeping at slot machines

• Gaggles of Midgets (crossing street from Golden Spike)

• An entire family of 8 Amish people, fully dressed in traditional garb / bowl cuts, the whole nine yards in 4 Queens

• A craps player hit the make 'em all twice without rolling a seven

• The Lion's Share Slot Machine at MGM Grand

1pm

• Lady outside Treasure Island smoking up with her 2 guy friends and laugh-yelling/stomping her feet: "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? WHO. LET THE. DOGS. OUT?? I'M DONE! I"M DONE! I'M DONE!"

• Guy at $3 craps table at Casino Royale took out a $3,000 marker, says: "I don't even care if I lose this - if I win I don't have to pay them back."

• Walking out of Slots-A-Fun, I wanted to play blackjack, sit at the $5 table, win 7 straight hands, doubling down, etc. never had to hit, won every hand - probably 7th time I've ever played blackjack in a casino, lost next hand and left

2pm

• Guy doing a smokey burnout in his orange Mustang at the stoplight outside Cromwell

• I took a set of those "Girls Direct to Your Door" cards from the people who flick their cards at you when you walk by on the strip - got 10 feet farther down the boulevard, and I did the same flick trick to the next person handing them out, he was confused and he went ahead and took them 

• Chick Double-Fisting Cigarettes in Rio

• Guy win 4 rounds of Bingo at the Plaza

• Presidential Motorcade by Cosmo

• Guy stealing sandwiches by the armful at 7-11, gets caught, puts them back, and walks out the door

• Bank of machines at the Cosmo where every machine's last win was like $5,000+ (10 machines $5k on this one, $6k on this one, $8k on this one, etc.)

• Token machine malfunction at Slots-A-Fun, put in $1, get 2 one dollar tokens... put in a $20, get 24 one dollar tokens...

• Dropped her off at Fat Tuesday outside Harrah's directly from Las Vegas Boulevard

3pm

• My best friend sleeping on the bench in McDonald's at the D using a water bottle as a pillow - come back like 2 hours later, he's still there

• Buskers trying to get photos with their Blue Macaw b/t Harrah's and the Linq

• Guy win $20k on Wheel of Fortune Gold Spin on the giant machine near Aria front desk

• $900+ dollar voucher on the ground outside Park MGM during 40+ mph winds

• Air conditioning went out at OYO, thermostat inside was 87+ degrees - they had big swamp coolers but it didn't make a difference

• Standing at a Timberwolf slot, said "#Mother'sDayHandPay" and immediately won $120 - then the game wouldn't cash out my ticket, so a slot attendant came to assist, he's smacking randomly on the buttons and bets $3.20, didn't win anything, but they did give me cash for it so I just tipped the other female attendant $10

• Lady at the Aria won $5,600 on a $20 bet on Phoenix Link

• I rolled 4 consecutive 6's on Craps

4pm

• Playing slots at Golden Gate, dropped wallet out of my pocket onto the ground without realizing it, when I got up from the machine it was still laying there on the ground behind me - luckiest thing that's ever happened to me in Vegas!

• Me rolling 4 eights in a row the first time I ever touched dice at Fontainebleau

• Chick win $22k on Buffalo at Binion's (just to the left of the craps tables towards Binion's Cafe)

• Me rolling 8-9 consecutive hardways at Palazzo - everyone at the table was on all of them except me

• Playing Dragon Link Golden Century at the Cromwell - an old Asian guy with a thin beard walks directly next to the machine, looks 100% like the guy pictured on the slot - I think he was trolling me... but I did win $75 on a $.44 cent lucky winner final spin

• Walking into a Casino, old guys stops us and says "Wait until you get in there, it's so cold they're hanging meat!" - 2 seconds after "Well buddy they're not the only ones"

• Influencer with hype men screaming at the top of their lungs playing claw game by Cashier at Cosmopolitan, one of the many times they re-created the scene, had $3k as potential win on claw game, of course it dropped it and they all went "awwwwwww"

• Paid off my Undergraduate Student Loans ($30,000 balance that took 20+ years to finally pay off), went to Fremont to celebrate, stopped in Main Street Station and played a slot called "Lucky $ Lines". Legitimately "won" something back on every. single. spin. for over 100+ spins consecutive in a row! I know this b/c we counted after a while when it was noticeable no spins were losing. Google searched it later and found it is a "100 base game hit frequency" machine at MAX BET, so you should win "something" back on every MAX BET spin, but I wasn't max betting - and still never lost! Didn't leave up from the machine at all, still spent like $10 net..

5pm

• 2 guys fist-fighting at the slots in Excalibur

• White BMW crash into palm trees on the median in the Strip by Mirage

• Most talented busker - Cirque performer balancing on his head on a bowling ball, balancing on table made of glass cups and boards

• Short tatted Hispanic guy rolled 5 consecutive 5's in a row at The D

• Random crackhead chick tried to grab our arms at The D - cussed her out for trying to touch us

• Couple at Wynn playing $1,000 hand blackjack them vs. dealer

• Slots-A-Fun wife won $180 in $1 tokens on Red Hottie machine that were filling the coin tray, we splashed in this 4'11" bald guy $10 who came to check out the win

• Slots-A-Fun I won $200 in $1 tokens on game across from Red Hottie machine with "777" on the reels

• $.96 Dragon Link "Lucky Last Chance Spin" with $1.00 minimum and lost

• Wife $.02 Dragon Link "Lucky Last Chance Spin" - she won - Harrah's

6pm

• Slot attendant vomit in the The D High Limit Room - immediately go back to work

• Waiter (Jordan) at Le Thai remembered us after not visiting for like 4 years

• Twerkin' Granny Bachelorette Party (bunch of 21 year old chicks dressed up like granny's giving people the eating p***y sign and twerking

• Venetian craps dealer who got $100k tip from dealing a private game in a suite

• Tipped $75 at Le Thai during Bumble Trip

• Fully naked guy on Fremont East

• Bank of Dragon Links next to the Huge Slot Machine right inside the door at Golden Nugget handpaying multiple people ($1,400 - $2,000 - $4,000) all at the same time - the lady who hits $4k immediately reaches over to the machine next to her and starts doing $25 a spin and running her hands across the machine saying incantations and loses every spin the whole rest of the time

• I had a $25 make 'em all bet in craps - guy rolled everything except the 2 - would have won me $3,775

• Guy at the Wynn playing Dragon Link won $1,500 on a $25 bet

• Walked up to a random Roulette table at Binion's with 1 guy playing - copied his bet, and it hit on that spin, left the table immediately

• 70+ year old skinny woman, dressed with workout wristbands, etc. sitting on the air box next to the giant clown sign - using regular old water bottles to do bicep curls

• Lady at Park MGM won $15,000 on Dragon Link next to the High Limit lounge with live dealers, on a $50 bet

• Bum doing pushups outside Aztec Inn Casino

7pm

• 65 year old fat Nuns tits, yuck. 

• Craps at Circa during Slotapalooza, had her count how many rolls I got for me, during the sequence rolled a 5 on my 5th roll, 7 on my 7th roll, and 9 on my 9th roll

• Binion's Dealer tweaking and washing the rails of the craps table with hand sanitizer

• Playing craps when the lights went out in El Cortez

• Guy hit "Make 'Em All" at Flamingo, pretty much whole table was on it - table erupted when he got the last number (3)

• Young Asian lady had $5k coin in on her machine at Palazzo (bottom of staircase, opposite side of stadium games)

• Plaza dealer was telling us about Jolly Bee Chicken and how you have to eat it with gravy - and that before I roll the dice, she should give the dice "a little love blow"

• Circa, Slotapalooza, Dragon Link, Bonus-Bonus Inside Bonus-Another Bonus Inside That Bonus, won $17 total

8pm

• SWAT Sisters (Sweet, Wet, and Tight), very large, definitely none of the letters represented... yuck.

• Lead the crowd at the front during a song and went backstage at Blue Man Group

• Girl bet her last "$100 of the trip" at Roulette and hit the number for$3,500 - she cried

9pm

• In the bathroom at Westgate during Motown charity concert, old dude in an all white suite and me are only people in the bathroom - he rips a nice fart at the urinal, asks Siri "directions to Flamingo Bay Resort" like 4 times but doesn't have location services enabled, just keeps asking

• Rampart 60 free games on Buffalo - won $25

• Guy with well over $10k+ cash counting $100's to buy-in at a $10 craps table at Westgate

10pm

• Spiderman sleeping under the urinals in 4 Queens

• Chick with an Ankle Monitor picking cigarettes off the curb on Fremont, showing her tweaker husband, and them putting them in their special cigarette box on his walker

• $40 ATM withdrawal, with a $10.99 service fee at Paris

• Cocktail waitress approaching hot craps shoot at Flamingo - just yelled out to myself without even thinking "get the fuck away from me you cocktail demon" - knew she was coming to steal the hot shooter's mojo

• Playing craps at Flamingo with couple from Denver - guy says he's surprised he can understand everything happening in the game b/c he graduated high school with a 1.4 GPA, he doesn't know how they let him out of there. I said it was your academic performance, they didn't want you hanging around anymore

11pm

• Park MGM room next to us talking about how we should go out all night, we should go here, we should go there, but never left the room after several hours of talking about where to go

1am

• Forgot my steering wheel lock key in the hotel room - had to Uber from The D to Fontainebleau to the The D, to drive home

• Had to kick Billy Gibbons (Singer & Guitarist for ZZ Top) out of line to get my burger at the Venetian Food Court b/c he was standing there blocking the way chatting some dude up

2am

• Uber cancelled on us after waiting 45 minutes at Cosmo on country concert night because he didn't want to turn left into the parking garage - had to walk to Mirage after to drive home

• Luckiest craps roll I've ever seen - Resorts World, July 3rd, 2025.

• Started the day with slots at the Cosmo (12pm-1pm), Chandelier Bar and Video Poker (1pm-2pm), Walked to Planet Hollywood, did the Miracle Mile Shops (2pm-3pm), played games at PH (3pm-4pm), saw the Popovich Comedy Pet Theatre Show (4pm-5pm), walked back to Cosmopolitan, then took an Uber to the Arts District (5pm-6pm), Prowl at the Arts District (6pm-630pm), Uber to Circa (630pm-645pm), for the next 4 hours - played games at Circa, walked Fremont Street, ate Pizza Rock in the Fremont Casino food court (saw the strangest couple in the world that drew everyone's attention - a super tall skinny trans guy with green hair, goth fishnets, and goth boots, with a short black guy that looked like they were out of a Jamiroquai video, everyone in the entire place watched them the whole time they passed through, lots of laughs, murmurs, and WTF's?), Uber back to Resorts World (10pm-1015pm), Crystal Bar had a Lady in Red Drink, games at Resorts World (1015pm-2am), then onto craps - French/Arabian guy rolls for at least 1.5 hours, not a single seven for over an hour. Earlier in the day we'd eaten at Wicked Spoon Buffet for lunch and I grabbed 3 fortune cookies to put in my pocket for later. One of them read, "When the table moves, you move with it." another was, "Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do it, and doing it." and the 3rd was "A gathering of friends brings you lots of luck this evening." Right before the hot shooter this tall black guy colors out - he tips the dealers $14, and a young female Asian dealer named Kim uses the money to bet $2 on each number (with an extra buck on 6 & 8). By the end of this roll, the dealers had secured $1,400 in tips for the dropbox from it, after parlays and pressing the bets. Kim called it her "401k". I was on the make them all to win $1,500 and another guy was on for $750 and another for $3,000 - the shooter hit everything except the 2. He had 6 3's, 20+ 8's, etc. but never hit the 2. The shooter literally couldn't miss, every trope that causes them to crap out happened, and he couldn't miss. Cocktail waitresses came and took orders, came back to bring him and his wife drinks, they came to clear glasses from under the table, someone bought in mid-roll, songs changed, the dice hit the money (and it always goes funny), he threw the dice off the table 5 times (same dice, same dice!!), the whole table noticed a dressed up 65 year old white guy walking by with 2 19 year old "working" girls (a blonde and a brunette) in little black dresses when the dealer called it out. No matter what the group of players remained perfectly in the pocket - everybody contributed, we all understood the mission (don't interrupt, don't screw him up, just sit back and let the magic come, the guy who tipped came back to watch and see how the dealers were doing, although he left the table with hundreds in chips, he didn't come back in during this roll). 

• I lost $45 on his roll. 

3am

• Group of 4 friends dancing on Fremont at 3am, then they all just laid down on the ground to look up at Viva Vision - yuck.

• Propositioned by a "working girl" in Mandalay Bay while I was playing slots chasing a handpay